REPORT FROM THE NARBOROUGH LITTER LADY

'Owed' to the Bus Stop Bins

We stand here through the seasons,
One westbound and three east.
For our existence there's a reason:
Your litter is our feast.
Seeing rubbish out of range
On grass or path nearby,
We find it really rather strange
And we FOUR wonder: why?

The Intruder Triangle

Lying by the roadside, with a saucy glint,
A shiny, teasing triangle, giving just a hint
Of the rest of the packaging lying further on,
Tantalising, taunting, waiting to be gone.
It's the Intruder triangle, no mystery there
Because I come along and make it disappear!

May total: barely a bag! Bermuda comes to Narborough

FEBRUARY LITTER REPORT TO C.P.R.E and April News letter,

From a Dog to its Owner

I love living in this village, being one of the family
But when we are out walking you leave my poo for all to see!
As you turn away and leave it I feel overwhelming shame
'Cos everybody thinks that I'm the one to blame.
Please put it in a little bag and take it home for me,
Don't shove it in the hedge or suspend it from a tree!
If I could see to it myself, I would.
So please do it for me. You know you really should.

With love x

February total - just over one bag

JANUARY LITTER REPORT

THE BUS TICKET BLUES

(Think: Ella Fitzgerald, Cleo Lane........)

Well I stepped out one mornin,'
The day was clear and bright,
I gazed round about me
And THEY came into sight!

Oh they are bus tickets
Oh yeah, bus tickets
And they give me the tickety blue- oos.

Some are screwed up tightly
Into a little ball,
Others torn into quarters,
No, it ain't accidental.

'Cos they are bus tickets,
Oh yeah, bus tickets,
And they give me the tickety blue-oos.

Well there's a box right inside of the bus
Another at the stop.
Why leave a trail behind you?
Jus' gits me in a strop!

Those infernal bus tickets.
Wretched bus tickets.
Don' make our village tickety - boo-oo!

Total bags for January: just over 2

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER LITTER REPORT

On the benefits of sub-zero temperatures to the Community Litter-picker:

Driving home for Christmas through the snow and ice
They felt a pang of hunger, thought a milkshake would be nice.
They stopped off at McDonald's, bought food there in a trice.

Nearing Narborough village, they'd finished their repast.
Son wound down the window, then wound it back up fast!
The snow swirled in. The wind howled in. What an icy blast!

So another load of rubbish was taken home that night
And stuffed into the wheelie bin, although the space was tight.
And the litter-picker? She chuckled in delight!

September 2010

A CAUTIONARY (T)ALE

When picking up a beer can
Or bottle cast aside
Take care to:
hold it upside down
at arm's length
Or woe betide!
For they are rarely ever empty,
Boddington's, Stella, Brock,
The dregs will trickle down your leg
And pool inside your sock!

September total: just odds and bits here and there - hard pushed to fill even one sack! Thank you.

July 2010

(to be sung to the tune of 'The Happy Wanderer')

I love to go a-gathering along the paths and tracks,
Every bottle, can and scrap, discarded fast food packs.

Chorus
Fol - da - re,
Fol - da - ra,
Fol - de - re,
Fol - da - ra -ha - ha - ha - ha - ha - ha - ha - ha!
Fol - da - re! My black sack on my back!

But there is so much less now, folk seem to be doing their bit.
You chat to me and tell me so. Thank you. Keep on. Don't quit!

Chorus

From nine bags, to five then three, July just over one,
Our village looks much greener now. By Christmas there'll be none?

Chorus

(Oh, and thank you to the kind person who sweeps out the bus shelter.)

'The Bag Lady'

I have defined Narborough Village as extending from the Ship Inn in the west to Point House in the east and from the junction with the A47 bypass in the north to the Community Centre in the south.

I have zoned the village into ten manageable areas:

1. Meadow Close into Mitchell’s Way

6. Old Vicarage Park

2.Westfields Alley to the shop and the junction with Denny’s Walk

7. Old A47 from The Ship to Point House

3.The farm track into Church Alley

8. Denny’s Walk

4. Westfields Estate

9. Meadow Close alley to Marham Road to the Community Centre

5. Eastfields Estate

10. Narford Road to the junction with the by-pass.

The Litter - Picker's Lament

As I tread the village by-ways,
Reluctant Springer at my heel,
How I lament my lack of planning
In my litter-ary zeal.

If I had only known the date
The Groundsman comes to cut,
I could have saved myself much grief
As one piece becomes a glut!

I gather and I garner
Each shredded tiny part
And put it out on Wednesday
For the Bin man and his cart.

Do not despair! Nil desperandum!
There'll be some more next week to hand'em.

Only five bin bags this month. Things are looking up!

'The Bag Lady'

Sue Baxter